...so i touched it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize