So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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