dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
