I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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