i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
