so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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