so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
