I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize