We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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