One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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