He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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