Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
