I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
