My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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