Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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