Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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