First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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