My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
