Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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