he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
