I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
