Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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