i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
