i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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