Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
