I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
