I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
