I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
