Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
