need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
