I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i think i just lost a toe
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
