And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
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