Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
