I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
