Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
