birth control should be required to get into college
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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