Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
