her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
