I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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