guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
