she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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