well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
