go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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