He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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