That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
