At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize