i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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