And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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