So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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