real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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