Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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