I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
