Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im part way to drunk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
