I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize