ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize