T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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